Getting Out There

I have always been an extremely shy person. As a kid, I could never muster up the courage to put up a performance in front of anybody...nobody at all. My mom thought I wasn't smart enough. Not confident enough like the other kids out there. And that's what drove me. I needed to prove her wrong. I needed to get out there.

                     

I decided that the best way to boost my confidence was to take the microphone.

                           

Since then, I had been voluntarily participating in a few school activities. I would sign up for any role that involved the act of talking. I wanted to be a good speaker. But I have always lacked the charisma. I have always been a very stiff speaker. Nevertheless, I was selected to deliver certain speeches, because I spoke clearly. But in my head, I was doing it only to counter my fear of stages and any sort of public scenario.

I still get an increased heartbeat every time a mic is handed to me. Sometimes as I start speaking; the nervousness wears off. And sometimes it doesn't; at all. Worst case scenario--my hand starts to shake...although, it's hardly discernible by someone watching, because of its unrealistically high frequency. But I try. Every time I just hope to get better than my last stance. I still have a long way to go.

                                              

This nervousness is not just faced in public...it happens in the virtual world as well. I steer clear of online challenges and quizzes. If I like something very very much; I solve them on a piece of paper and then check my answers. I'd hardly dare to type them up and send them out into the gigantic void of virtual reality. But this aspect has changed slightly in the recent past; I proudly confirm!

                                            

At least now I am confident about performing online!

It's just that I feel in the real world, it's hard to break free and take a leap of faith. There are just too many people to gossip around you and deliberately bring your morale down. But on the internet, it's far easier to make your point...as you slowly realise that no one really gives a damn. Everyone is doing their own thing, and quite often you may stumble upon a very kind and generous comment from a complete stranger. (As I have multiple times! Thanks, random nice person!! 😊 It always makes my day.) 

        And obviously, there are mean ones too. But once I realised how sour and miserable that person might be in real life (for whatever reason) to write something like that; it was very easy to ignore. I have been doing the same with mean people around me too! Ignore them and smile and thank the kind ones.

But the whole point of all this banter is just to say that this week I did something. Something different. I participated in a challenge. And not for the reward promised if my work is selected. Absolutely not. I only did it because the challenge was a fun one and I absolutely adore the company that came up with the challenge. I am a fan you can say. Just this morning I completed the submission. I only hope that they acknowledge all the hard work me and my friend put into this fun game. It'll be nice to get an uplifting compliment. But am I being over-ambitious? Let's see how it goes.

                For now, I am proud of the way I have evolved. Here's wishing that I get better as the days roll by...need a bit more charisma and some charm! Heh heh.

                                         

Now that's all I need. 😅